You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
