I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
