I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
