I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
