What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize