I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I came so hard my ears popped.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
