You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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