HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
And then my night got REAL pukey
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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