You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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