Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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