Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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