I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
