worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
