i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just gargled with NyQuil
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
