His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
