When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
