Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
