for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
stop calling my apartment porn island.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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