This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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