he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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