I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
