my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
