New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
