I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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