She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
