You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
