Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
