I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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