yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
