I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
