just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
