Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize