I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
