I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
