walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
