Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
