I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
