Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
