Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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