She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
