I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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