My nipple is on Facebook.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
