I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
