so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
