During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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