Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
