I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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