oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
