hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
