stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
