Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
