ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
